


A Matter of Perspective

by Chash



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 18:16:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16603091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chash/pseuds/Chash
Summary: Clarke knows that for her (ex) girlfriend, this whole breakup thing is some kind of rosy holiday magic where she finally realizes who's important to her and what matters in life.For Clarke, though, her girlfriend went to her hometown for a couple weeks to help with a Christmas parade and then dumped her, which is kind of bullshit.





	A Matter of Perspective

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on holiday fics and also watching a bunch of Hallmark movies! Which is why I am currently so concerned with the plight of the roadblock love interests in every Hallmark film. Sucks to be them.

"Do you think only dating people who have never dated anyone else before is a realistic goal?"

Bellamy frowns, doesn't bother responding until he's slid a drink across the bar to her. "How long did it take you to think of that opening line?"

"I've been working on it for a couple days. I didn't know where to start."

To be exact, she's been working on it since Lexa dropped her off at the train station in Arcadia three days ago. That the first thing she wanted to figure out was how to tell her favorite bartender about her breakup is maybe some kind of red flag, but that's also a fairly reductive way of looking at it. Bellamy is good for advice, and sympathy. They've been friends for years now, since back when bartending was his full-time gig, before he decided to go back to grad school, and he'd probably be the first person he told regardless of employment status.

But she wanted to have access to a lot of alcohol when she did tell him, so here they are.

"Okay, well, where are you trying to end up? What's the punchline?"

"Lexa dumped me."

He winces like the pain is his own, involuntary. "Shit. Why?"

"Remember she was going back to her hometown for the Christmas parade?"

"The one that sounded really fake?"

"Yeah. I guess she reconnected with--" She gives a vague wave. "Her family, her roots, her Christmas spirit, and her ex-girlfriend. In that order."

"Fuck."

"Upgrading from shit?"

"Seriously, I'm sorry. That sucks." 

"I knew we were--it wasn't perfect or anything. Not like I was convinced she was the one for me. But I thought she might have been. We could have gotten there."

"Didn't you go down there for Christmas?" he asks. "To surprise her?"

"Yeah. I thought I wouldn't be able to take enough time off work, but someone else's plans changed and they could keep the lights on, so I got there just in time for her to tell me that she was in love with someone else. After _a week_."

"So you think the solution is never dating anyone with an ex again? That's where we ended up?"

"I'm just saying, I have a bad track record with that. Remember Finn, in college? I told you about him, right?"

He frowns. "Wasn't the problem there that she wasn't really his ex and he didn't tell you that?"

"Which wouldn't have happened if he'd never dated anyone."

"Technically true. I get where you're coming from, but--that's not normal, Clarke. I don't think everyone in the world is hung up on their exes. Or a cheater. You've just had some shitty luck."

"I just don't get it. She was gone less for two weeks, and she's ready to uproot her entire life. I don't know how anyone can do that."

"You want me to be honest or comforting?"

She has to smile. "Honest."

"If she made all these changes in that little time, they'd probably been coming for a while," he says, resting his forearms on the bar. "It probably wasn't really just a couple weeks. But sometimes a change of scenery brings other stuff together for you."

"I know. Still."

"Yeah, it's a lot. And I really am sorry. I'm not defending her, just--"

"Being honest and trying to help, I know. There's a reason you're the first person I told."

"I'm flattered. And comping your first drink."

"What, that doesn't get me free booze for a whole night? I got dumped. On _Christmas Eve_."

"Jesus, you didn't say it was Christmas Eve. Really?"

"Yup. Right before Costia read "Twas the Night Before Christmas" to the kids."

"Fuck, fine. Five free drinks. If you have more than five, you're also sleeping on my couch."

"You're the best. How was your Christmas?"

"Comparatively uneventful. You want to see baby pictures? Will that help? I know you don't always like babies, but Alex is adorable and there's a dog in most of them."

She smiles. "How old is she now?"

"Almost a year. She started walking, O was just happy I was around to give her some time off from trying to keep her from sticking her fingers into everything."

"That sounds pretty cute. I could use some dogs and babies."

She only has four of her five free drinks, but she tips Bellamy with a twenty and ends up following him home to crash on his couch anyway. She and Lexa weren't living together yet, but Lexa was at Clarke's a lot, and she'd been planning to move in once her lease was up. The welcome novelty of not having a roommate for a few months has been replaced by the knowledge that she's going to be alone for a while.

It's sad that Bellamy's shitty couch is better than that, but it definitely is. Especially since he cooks breakfast for her in the morning.

"You don't have to do this, you know."

"I would have done it sooner, if you told me," he says, only a little accusatory.

"I figured you were still out of town. Christmas."

"There's this thing called a phone."

"We're millennials, we don't use the phone."

"Phones also have text capability." He smiles, gentle. "I'm not mad, just--you know you didn't have to wait for me to be at work, right?"

"I know. I needed to wait. You're still the only person I've told, and that was hard enough. My mom's going to be so disappointed."

He hands her a plate of stacked pancakes. "I honestly can't get a good read on how _you're_ feeling. No offense, but you don't seem heartbroken."

"No, not really. I'm--" She huffs. "Mostly, I'm annoyed? I liked being in a relationship and now I'm not. I don't have a date to stuff, I'm going to need to find a new roommate, it's just a pain. And I get that these aren't real problems," she adds, before he can say anything. "I got off easy. It's not like I think she was the love of my life and now that we're not together I'll never find anyone again. But I liked her, and I thought she liked me. Like you said, I know it means she probably hadn't been really happy for a while, but--maybe we could have talked about it. Made it work."

"Yeah, I get that. But look on the bright side: at least you weren't planning to propose or anything."

"Yeah, thank goodness." She sighs. "You want to hear the stupid part?"

"I want you to eat your breakfast. But yeah, after that."

She takes a bite. "It's such a romantic cliche, you know? The big-city girl goes back home, reconnects with her high-school sweetheart, discovers what's really important. And I'm just an obstacle in that story. The decoy love interest who gets left behind."

"Or you're the main character in another story," Bellamy points out. "You're the woman who gets dumped and figures out she's better off without her ex. I've definitely heard that one a lot too."

"Me too." She smiles. "Did you become a bartender because you're so good at the advice thing?"

"No, I'm just good at dealing with drunk people and assholes."

"You could have just said you're good at dealing with me," she teases, and he laughs.

"That too, yeah."

"I don't know how I'm going to tell everyone else. She was supposed to be coming to Monty's New Year's thing, and now she's just--not."

"If it helps, you're not the bad guy in this story. Your girlfriend left for two weeks and dumped you. Everyone's going to be on your side. Especially at Monty's."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shifts a little, awkward. "Lexa wasn't exactly anyone's favorite, even when you guys were dating. This is probably going to be the nail in the coffin of public opinion. If you hadn't dated Finn, she'd be your worst ex ever, hands down."

"That doesn't actually make me feel better," she says, but her smile betrays the lie. "This really should be the worst breakup I've ever had."

"You are kind of an overachiever."

"Just try to have as many shitty exes as possible. They could start a club."

"Or you could find a club for people with shitty exes."

"That could be my new dating pool. People with shitty exes wouldn't be shitty exes, right?"

"That sounds pretty optimistic." He pauses, regards her thoughtfully. "I was wondering about that, though."

"About what?"

"It's been less than a week. This might not actually stick, you know? She might be back in a week telling you she fucked up and got cold feet and wants you back."

The thing about Lexa is that she never sounds anything less than completely confident about whatever it is that she's doing. Every choice she makes is the right choice, and if she ever changes her mind, she acts like she never thought anything different. It's one of those quirks Clarke got used to, like she's sure Lexa got used to things about her. 

Now, though, it feels less like a quirk and more like a red flag.

"I guess she might, but it wouldn't matter."

"No?"

She shakes her head, smiling down at the plate of pancakes. "This isn't really something you can just bounce back from. She dumped me on Christmas Eve. I don't care how much she regrets it, if she ever does. I'm done with her."

"Good." She laughs, and he ducks his head, sheepish. "Just, uh--you shouldn't take someone back after that."

"Yeah, I got that. Once bitten, twice shy. Or--twice bitten, I guess."

"You're going to be fine, Clarke."

Bellamy has this way of making his voice a promise, like he can just speak things into reality. And this one doesn't even feel like that much of a stretch. It might take a little time, and she's not sure when she's going to want to date again, but she's going to be fine. One way or another.

"Yeah," she agrees. "Thanks for talking me through it."

His smile is easy. "Well, what are friends for?"

*

New Year's is, as Bellamy predicted, fine. Everyone agrees that Lexa is an asshole for doing what she did, and even true love isn't a good enough excuse for her not being a little more considerate and diplomatic. Work is a little awkward, once she goes back, since she took time off to spend Christmas with her girlfriend and everyone _knows_ that's why she took time off, so everyone wants to hear about how it went, if Lexa was surprised, if they had a merry Christmas.

"What did you tell them?" Bellamy asks. He's picking up extra shifts while school is still on break, so Clarke's been coming in more than usual. She only feels a little like an alcoholic.

"The truth. Like you said, I don't actually sound like the bad guy in this story. They don't think I am either. The worst part is them being nice to me now."

He snorts. "Only you would be upset that people are being nice to you after a breakup."

"Shut up. What about you?"

"That's not actually a transition that makes any sense."

"How are you doing? I feel like we've been just talking about me."

"Yeah, I have no idea why we'd focus more on you getting dumped than me having a totally normal holiday and nothing else going on right now."

"You haven't dated anyone in a while."

"No, I guess not."

"Any reason?"

"Not really. I've gone on a couple dates, when Octavia gets on my case about it, but nothing that felt like it was going anywhere. Not what I was looking for."

"What are you looking for?"

"Something serious." He wets his lip. "Someone to marry, honestly. The person I want to spend my life with."

"I thought that was supposed to be a big plus with guys. Isn't the problem supposed to be that dudes never want to commit?"

"You should know, you've dated guys."

"I'm never actually looking for commitment, though, I just kind of stumble into it."

"Yeah, brag about it," he says, with a fond roll of his eyes. "Are you still thinking you're never dating anyone who's had a relationship again?"

She has to smile. "I'm just going to play it by ear. I don't think I want to be looking for a while anyway."

"No?"

"Part of me wanted to throw myself right back into dating, but--" She shrugs. "I realized I would be doing it just to prove that I could find someone too. Which would be shitty, so--yeah. I'm not looking right now."

"Mature. I don't mind talking about you," he adds. "If you need to talk. I know it's tough right now."

"It's not that bad," she says. She's only half willing it to be true; it already is true, in a lot of ways.

"Well, if it gets bad, let me know. I want to help"

She melts. "I know you do. I'll talk to you," she adds. "I promise."

*

On February 15th, Lexa gets engaged. Bellamy isn't working, so Clarke texts and asks if he wants to hang out.

 **Me** : Full disclosure, I want to complain about my ex

 **Bellamy** : Which one?  
Either way, yes, obviously  
Just want to know what complaining I should be expecting

 **Me** : Lexa

 **Bellamy** : Got it  
See you in half an hour?

 **Me** : Perfect

He shows up five minutes early with a bottle of wine, which makes her smile. "You know I'm not actually an alcoholic, right?"

"This one is for me. Everything okay? Does she want you back?"

"Kind of the opposite. She and Costia got engaged."

"Jesus. It's been what, a month and a half?"

"Yeah. She proposed on Valentine's Day."

He pauses, opens and closes his mouth, finally asks, "Seriously? _Lexa_ proposed on Valentine's Day?"

"That's what you're focusing on?"

"Last time I heard, she thought Valentine's Day was stupid and romance was overrated. Where's your corkscrew?"

"Kitchen, come on."

True to his word, as soon as Bellamy has the wine open, he takes a swig directly from the bottle, making Clarke's heart flip with unexpected fondness. 

"That really is all for you, huh?"

"I'm a growing boy, Clarke. So, how did you find out? Please tell me she didn't call you to tell you she was engaged."

"No, we're still Facebook friends. Costia tagged her in the picture of her ring."

"Is it a nice ring?"

"It's fine, I guess? I don't know, it's not a _bad_ ring. I don't have strong feelings about it. The diamond is huge, which I guess people like, but it seemed like a little much to me."

He nods. "So, what am I doing in this conversation? As usual, you don't seem that upset. No offense."

"Why would I be offended?"

He takes another drink of wine and offers her the bottle; she goes to the fridge to grab a beer instead. No point in letting him drink _alone_ , when it could be a group activity.

"Honestly, I have no idea how you feel about this. Or how you want me to feel about it. I'm playing it safe."

"However you feel is fine." Curiosity creeps into her, and she cocks her head at him. "How do you feel?"

There's no hesitation at all. "I think Lexa is an asshole, but I always thought Lexa was an asshole. I think she wasn't good enough for you." Now he pauses. "I want this to work out for her so she doesn't try to get you back, but I also want it to blow up in her face because she shouldn't get to be happy after doing this to you."

"I'm fine, Bellamy. She didn't ruin my life or anything."

"She got lucky. You could have been devastated."

"Maybe she knew I wouldn't and that's why she left me." She sighs. "Honestly, I don't know what I'd do if I was her. She did better with it that Finn did. She dumped me instead of dating both of us to see who she liked better."

"I'd make sure the breakup was about why who I was breaking up with. _I'm in love with someone else_ might be true, but you don't have to say it like that. And I'd wait more than a week to make a move."

She has to smile. "You sound pretty confident."

This time, his drink of wine is deliberate, a beat. "Yeah, it happened to me once."

Clarke met Bellamy a year out of college, and he's four years older than she is, which means he had plenty of life before they met, much as she doesn't like thinking about it. He could have fallen in love with someone, dated them, and broken up before she ever met him. But it hurts a little that he never mentioned it. Bellamy's great love seems like the kind of thing she would have heard about.

"Really? What happened?"

"My girlfriend and I broke up," he says, and she elbows him. He sighs. "Nothing happened after that. I never told them how I felt."

"Why not?"

"I wanted to give it time. Make sure I was right and I didn't just have cold feet or something. And then by the time I got my nerve up, they were with someone else."

"That really sucks."

"We're still friends. And I think it might--" He's trying to keep his voice light, but his hands are twitching on the neck of the wine bottle. "Honestly, I'm still hoping it's going to work out. She's single now and--"

Clarke gets it all at once, the timing sliding into place like pieces of a puzzle she didn't know she was doing. Bellamy and Gina's poorly explained, out-of-nowhere breakup, the few months after that when it felt like she and Bellamy were spending all their time together, Niylah dragging her to a gallery opening and introducing her to Lexa, her agreeing in part because she was worried about all the time she was spending with Bellamy. He had been happy for her, or so he said, but there was always something missing. Like he said, Lexa was never that popular with his friends; she hadn't thought it was personal.

Her mouth drops open, but no words come out.

Bellamy doesn't notice, all his focus on the wine bottle. He's going to to get through this, these words he's been waiting to say to her for so long.

"I've dated some other people," he says, with a huff of breath. "I'm hoping that's not going to be a dealbreaker."

"Bellamy--"

He smiles. "I didn't want to tell you when you were--I know you needed someone to talk to about all the Lexa stuff, so if this got awkward with--"

Without any real input from her conscious brain, Clarke takes the wine bottle out of his fingers, sets it aside, and leans in to kiss him. She has thought about doing this before, usually when she's had a little too much to drink, when she didn't know better, but she never thought she'd actually _do_ it. She met Bellamy because Harper dared her to go flirt with the hot bartender, so his good looks and charm aren't new to her, and she became friends with Bellamy because she liked him. Anytime she's single, she gets to a point of wondering, of hoping, that something might happen with him, that the universe might align, but it never felt realistic.

Not until now, anyway.

"Sorry," she says, smiling at his gobsmacked expression. "Was that awkward?"

That snaps him out of it; he laughs and slides his hand into her hair, pulling her close for another kiss. It's been a while since she dated anyone with facial hair, and Bellamy's beard is going to take some getting used to, but for now, it's nice. It's so easy to remember she's kissing him and no one else.

"No wonder you wanted a whole bottle of wine for yourself," she murmurs.

Her eyes are still closed, so she can't see his grin, but she can feel it, can picture it in her mind, bright and clear. "I was hoping I wouldn't need it."

"You don't. But you could bring it to the couch so we can watch TV and make out."

"You sure you're okay?" he asks, and she can't even figure out why until he adds, "With all the Lexa stuff. I know I kind of derailed from--"

She laughs, kisses him again. "I'm pretty sure that's the best derail ever. I'm great, Bellamy."

"Then yeah," he says, taking her hand and tugging her toward the couch. "It's a date."

*

Bellamy finishes grad school in June and quits the bar, reducing the number of free drinks Clarke gets but increasing the amount of time she gets to spend with her boyfriend, which is definitely a net win. According to Facebook, Lexa and Costia got married at the Christmas parade, which Clarke sees on Facebook and tells Bellamy about on his sister's couch at midnight on Christmas Eve. He kisses her hair, asks if she's okay.

"I am," she says, meaning it. She likes the status, leaves a congratulatory comment, and then turns the phone off and snuggles up with her boyfriend. "I'm happy for them."

"Me too. I feel like I should send them a gift or something."

Clarke laughs. " _Thanks for dumping my girlfriend so I could tell her how I felt_?"

"I really owe her one."

"Maybe just a card," she teases, and they move on. It's not like it matters, after all.

They drive home on the 26th, and on the 28th, Clarke says she wants to go out for drinks. They go to the bar where he used to work, since most of the bartenders still know and like him and sometimes give him discounts, grab a booth in the corner once they've gotten their drinks and an order of fries.

"You know it's been a year since I told you Lexa broke up with me?" Clarke asks, dunking a fry.

He checks the date on his phone. "Huh, I guess it has."

"It's probably the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"What, her dumping you or you telling me about it?"

"Both, I guess. But most--you. You're the best thing. And if Lexa hadn't broken up with me, I might never have known."

"I probably would have told you," he admits. "Before the wedding. Something stupid and over-dramatic about how you couldn't marry her."

"We weren't going to get engaged," she says, with a fond smile. "But I thought you might want to."

"Interrupt the wedding? Yeah, that's always been a dream of mine. Get to be that person who yells that they object, like in the movies."

Clarke bites back a smile. "That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean?"

"Do you want to marry me?"

It still takes him a second, and then a grin breaks out. "Wait, are you proposing?"

"I didn't get you a ring. But I am, yeah. I'm not great at romance."

"You're perfect at romance." He rubs the back of his neck, still grinning. "I've got a ring for you at home. A placeholder one. I was just trying to figure out how to ask."

A grin is taking over her face too. "A placeholder?"

"Yeah. Just a band with a fake jewel you can use for the proposal, and then you go back and pick a real one. I figured you're the one who's wearing it, you should pick it out." He bites the corner of his mouth. "Yes, by the way," he says, reaching over to squeeze her hand. "I want to marry you."

What a difference a year makes; she can barely even remember the annoyance she was feeling last December, the frustration and hurt, with just a tinge of heartbreak. It's so small, compared to the happiness she has now.

"Oh good," she teases, for all she's getting a little choked up. "I was worried you were going to say no."

"Really?"

"No. Not even a little."

"Good. You shouldn't be."

And she's not, of course. She knows he's all hers.

It's nice to be sure.


End file.
